Junon Memories
by Wannon
Summary: Wannon: *Yaoi/Shouen ai - Rude/Reno* What Reno is to Rude, and vice versa
1. Default Chapter

Well…here's something I promised myself I would do.And that is writing a Reno and Rude fic.I originally didn't want to, due to my 'Then Til Now' series, as the two are 'brothers' and the thought of them being together kinda squicked me.But I've gotten over that, and increased my squick threshold.It no longer bothers me. ^_^

So here's one for all you RenoxRude, RudexReno shippers out there!!

One warning for you, though…it's in the first person.Just letting you know.Oh yeah…I guess I should tell you it's gonna geta tiny bit limey in places…depending on my mood.::wink::

Hope y'all like it (there's that groovy word again, baby, yeah! ::giggle::)

~ Wannon-chan ~

Junon Memories Part One – Rude.

We'd always been close, I guess…what you would call 'the best of friends'.That was us.It was hard to ignore him, deny him my friendship.He's not exactly hard to miss.That messy red hair, smiling blue eyes, cheeky grin, identical scars on both cheeks, rumpled Turk uniform…

It was all uniquely Reno.

People often thought we were lovers…and for the most part, they were wrong.Reno and I didn't 'get to know each other better' until after a certain event.'The Pillar Incident', Reno liked to call it.He was badly injured in a one-on-three fight…with him being the 'one'.

He barely managed to make it to where I was waiting before he fainted.He had lost a lot of blood, and I remember thinking he wasn't going to make it.

I should have known better.

I took care of him, helping him to heal.He was a terrible patient.As soon as he had enough energy, he spent most of it trying to weasel away from my care, and protesting loudly that he was healed, fine, all ready to take his revenge.I had to give up eventually…besides, once I had to leave for a mission, that was the end of it.I came back to find him up and about, instead of resting.I had given him a glare, to which he just pouted.

_"Jeez, Rude! I'm fine! Quit acting as if I almost died!" he had joked.I felt my eyes widen, and I had frowned at him then, making him look confused._

_"Reno…you did almost die…" I had said seriously.I was upset that he could joke about such a thing.He had blushed and ducked his head._

_"Oh, yeah…" he'd replied sheepishly._

The friendly feeling I'd had for him previously were developing into something more, due to the amount of time I had been spending with him.

As we learnt more about each other, I began to realise the depth of the feeling I held for him.

I was falling in love.

I know some people think that love can't bloom on a battlefield, any kind of battlefield…I guess I proved them wrong.

I fell in love during the fight for the Promised Land, and the fight to save the Planet, but it was a 'forbidden' love.

So I became very quiet.I kept my mouth shut, afraid that I would say something I would regret later.But I didn't need to worry.Reno helped me take the first step in progressing past friendship…I remember it well.

~ Junon.I arrived there early, in anticipation of President Rufus's parade… inauguration and immediately, I headed for my favourite bar.All the usual barflies were there, but there was no sign of Reno.I knew he was in Junon, but right then, I was happy where I was.

_ _

_A few beers later, and I was seriously needing Reno.Being drunk and horny is a bad combination… So I stumbled out into the streets of Junon, and bumped into Tseng._

_ _

_"Tsk, tsk, Rude…here, I'll show you to the Inn we're staying at…" he had said, and led me to a room with a double bed.He left soon after, but not before muttering something about sobering up.I had giggled drunkenly and flopped onto the bed, kicking off my shoes and removing all my clothes, except my boxers._

_ _

I guess I must have fallen asleep, because when I looked next to me, there was someone else in my bed.Someone with red hair, a bony body…

"Reno…" I had whispered, fully sober.The redhead was curled up with me, his scraggly strands of hair tickling my chest.I smiled down at his sleeping form, stroking his hair, and threading my fingers through it.

_ _

_"Rude…" Reno had mumbled sleepily, as I stroked one of his scars. Then he jerked awake, precious eyes fluttering open and looking bashful, embarrassed. He blushed furiously and attempted to scramble from the bed._

_"I'm sorry, Rude…I was drunk, I musta thought this was my bed…" he protested weakly.I had a sudden surge of courage, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, drawing his body closer to mine, realizing that he was wearing as little as me.Reno's eyes widened, and I remember his smile…that sort of half-surprised, half-happy smile as he giggled huskily._

_ _

_"Stay…" I had whispered into his ear, and he began to kiss up my neck._

_ _

_"…okay…" he had replied softly.I felt myself begin to harden, merely from Reno's lips on my skin, and I turned his face to mine, instigating a long kiss. ~_

_ _

That night had been the best night of my life…making love with Reno only confirmed just how much I was in love with him, and he became something of an infatuation for me, a prized treasure.Reno took my constant awe of him, and the never-ending stream of praise and worship with good humor…for a while, anyway.Then he began to get frustrated…I didn't notice, because apparently I was too busy polishing the pedestal I had placed him upon.

_"You don't have to treat me like this! I'm not anything better than you, Rude…we're equals, okay?! Quit sticking me on that damn pedestal before I jump!" Reno had snapped at me one afternoon, after I had refused to let him go on a mission._

I thought I was just showing my concern for his safety…

Guess I was wrong.Not surprising, I guess.I'm always wrong.

…That's only part of it, though.Reno…he…after the final battle in Midgar, after all was said and done, and everything was safe, he and I settled down.I thought we were finally going to be happy together.I mean, I loved him, he loved me…everything was great.

Guess I was wrong again…

One morning I awoke to find the side of the bed that Reno usually inhabited empty.And the house was empty.So were his drawers, his closet…

He was gone.No good-byes, no explanations…nothing.

Elena told me that he was no good, that I should forget about him.Maybe she was right, but I couldn't help loving him.

Was that so wrong?

End of Part One.

Okay, did ya like it so far? Part Two will be my beloved Reno's P.O.V.::sigh:: I luv my Reno…

Let me know what you all think! Continue or not??

~ Wannon-chan ~


	2. Junon Memories - Part Two - Reno

Here it is!

The second part…and it is my beloved Reno's turn to spew forth his thoughts and memories. 

Enjoy!

~ Wannon-chan ~

****

Junon Memories Part Two – Reno.

Don't get me wrong…I'm not a bad guy. I did love Rude. Did? I still do…

I couldn't face the truth, though. The truth…that I was also sleeping with Tseng while I was with Rude.

I know, I know…I'm an unfaithful bastard. Kick my ass if ya want, but it won't change they way I feel for them both…

Yes, I know Tseng is dead. But I still love him…Do you have any idea just how hard it is to live with the knowledge that you're in love with not one, but _two_ men…both of whom you used to work with?! I just…I'm so incredibly confused. I had to leave before I ended up taking my confusion out on Rude. He was just…treating me too well, always concerned for my safety, looking out for me, babying me. I didn't deserve it.

I thought we were a perfect match and that we would be happy together. We were, for the most part. But with my guilty conscience, and Rude's overbearing nature…it just fell apart in front of me. I knew Rude was perfectly happy with me…but if you're not happy with yourself, there's no way you can be happy with someone else. That nasty coil of self-hatred will come and bite your ass every time…

Which it did to me on a regular basis. I felt terrible for the way I treated Rude. Tseng knew I was seeing Rude, but he didn't mind…I think I was more of a plaything for him than a lover. But I still loved him, no matter what he did to me, no matter how many bruises I'd wake up with in the morning.

I'm surprised that Rude, with his 'mother hen' nature, never noticed all the dark marks on my body. Probably just thought it happened through work…or that I was overly clumsy.

I left Rude because he deserves better than a used, slutty bastard like me. I know I've wronged him, and I have to change that…I have to make him forget me. All those nights we spent together in Junon…all those memories…they have to go.

Forget about me, Rude…I'm not worth the effort.

You won't, will you? You'll keep waiting for the day I come home, right? Day in, day out…damn you. Why did you have to fall in love with me, huh? You had to make things complicated…you had to let me fall for you.

~ * ~

You found me today…I never thought you'd look for me in Gongaga. It hurt me so much to see your face…those eyes, forgiving and inviting. I almost didn't drag myself away…

But I had to be strong. I turned tail and fled…

You called out to me, even pursued me…I should have confronted you, explained myself…but god dammit, I'm too weak…hmph. I wasn't strong at all when I ran from you…I'm a coward, Rude. You're in love with a coward.

You're knocking at my door now, begging, pleading…can't you see I'm not worth it? Look at me, Rude. Hiding myself away from you simply because I've been unfaithful, cowardly.

Maybe its time I tried to change things…I _do_ love you, I know that much is true. I also know I have a _lot_ of explaining to do, apologies to make, etceteras… 

As I turn to look at the door, it opens. And there you are.

"Reno…" you say softly. I feel any strength I had built up empty from myself, and I begin to run, but you were expecting it…I should have known. You grab me by the wrist, and pull me in close, turning your confused, hurt eyes on mine.

"Let me go, Rude…" I whisper, pulling away firmly. But you simply tighten your grip.

"Why did you leave, Reno? Please…don't you realise I love you? I promise, I'll treat you how you want to be treated. Just don't…don't run from me anymore!" you beg.

I have never seen you so incredibly intense before…as though this moment sealed some funky kind of fate. I'm not one for superstition, or anything mystical…but I swear there was some freaky magnets that were drawing us together.

Our lips meet, and I feel exactly what you want to convey…desire, love…forgiveness. I slowly wrap my arms around your waist, drawing you close, knowing that I was lost now…I could never leave again. You had ensnarled me in your web.

"I won't…I won't leave again." I whisper, the promise sounding sincere, even to my own ears.

I don't think I've ever felt so bloody…_complete_ in my entire life, just being back in your arms…

I can't believe I ever left. I can't believe that I didn't see past my own weaknesses, my own problems.

I should have been more sympathetic towards your needs, your wants. I realise that you need me. I'd known that all along.

What I didn't realise was that _I_ needed _you_. That feeling of emptiness wasn't put there by Tseng's death…it was there because I distanced myself from you…the man I love, the man I need to fill the empty place all of us have in our hearts…

"I'm so sorry…" I mumble quietly into your chest. You kiss my hair, stroking my back soothingly.

"Why did you leave?" you ask, and I tense up immediately. I had some serious explaining to do…

"Can…can I tell you later? I don't wanna spoil this beautiful reunion!" I say, my voice taking on a tone of dry humor. You laugh, and hold me closer, obviously willing to accept that request. We kiss again, before searching each other's eyes, seeing the same thing reflected in both pairs.

Love and happiness.

"Let's go back to Junon…" you mumble. I take your hand, and together we walk out the door, back to the place where all our memories together began.

Junon.

The End. (I may do an Epilogue)

~ Wannon-chan, April 5th, 2001 ~


End file.
